“We love how natural your couples look.”
Is something I hear often from my couples.
A frequent concern I hear from couples prior to their session is they’re worried about looking awkward in photos, or that they’re “just not good at taking pictures.”
While my couples are technically being posed and directed, I never want the photos to feel overly posed.
I don’t walk into a session with a checklist of poses that I run every couple through in the exact same order. I have a general flow that I like to follow, but what I actually do within that flow depends on the couple standing in front of me.
That starts with observation.
I Observe Before I Pose
The first five to ten minutes of a session are really important to me. Before I start getting into the more intentional posing, I’m paying attention to how a couple interacts with each other, how comfortable they are, how comfortable they are in front of the camera, and what their overall chemistry feels like.
Sometimes I’ll ask questions to get a better idea of what they’re comfortable with. How are they with PDA? Are they comfortable being affectionate in front of the camera? Are they more playful or more reserved? I’ll also ask if they have any inspiration photos or a Pinterest board they’ve been putting together.
I love when couples have reference photos. It’s not because I want to copy those photos exactly. I like seeing them because it gives me a glimpse into what they already have in their heads. If a couple has saved a certain type of pose over and over, there’s a pretty good chance they feel comfortable with that kind of image and want something similar for themselves.
It gives me another piece of information. That’s really what those first few minutes are about.
A Lot of It Comes Down to Chemistry
After photographing a lot of couples, I’ve realized that there are things I pick up on that are sometimes difficult to explain. It’s not necessarily one specific thing they’re doing. It’s more of a feeling. I can usually get a pretty good sense of whether a couple is comfortable with each other, whether they’re nervous, whether they’re naturally affectionate, whether they’re more silly, or whether they’re a little more reserved.
Some couples immediately start laughing and messing around, some are naturally very affectionate, some are clearly comfortable together but aren’t used to being photographed.
& Some couples are standing in front of my camera thinking, What the hell are we supposed to do right now?
All of those couples need something slightly different from me.
I think a big part of being a photographer is learning how to read people. The more couples you work with, the more you start recognizing those little differences in how people interact and how they respond to direction. So while I do have a general flow that I like to follow, I don’t necessarily do the same poses for every couple.
The flow stays familiar. The way I move through it changes.
“We’re So Awkward in Photos.”
I hear this one a lot. You’re probably not awkward. You’re just uncomfortable.
There’s a big difference.
Most people aren’t naturally comfortable standing in front of a camera while someone tells them where to put their hands, where to look, how to stand, and what to do with their face; and if the pose itself doesn’t feel natural to you, it’s going to show in the photograph.
That’s why I don’t think the solution to looking awkward is simply telling someone to “relax.” If you’re uncomfortable, being told to relax doesn’t magically make you comfortable. Instead, I want to put you into positions that make sense for the two of you.
Once you’re physically comfortable in the pose, it’s much easier for your actual personalities and chemistry to come through.
I Start Simple.
I don’t usually start a session by throwing a couple into the most complicated pose I have in mind. I like to ease into it. A lot of times I start with close-up detail shots of the ring, where their faces aren’t in the frame at all.
They’re still being posed and asked to hold a certain position, but there’s less pressure because they aren’t immediately thinking about what their face looks like. It gives them a chance to get used to me, the camera, and the idea of being directed.
And without even realizing it, they’re already warming up.
Then I can start building from there. I’ll move them into another position, have them look at each other, bring them a little closer, have them smile, or have them touch foreheads or noses. I’m not necessarily stopping after every pose and starting completely over. I like to create a flow. One pose naturally leads into another, and I’m constantly looking at what I’m getting and deciding where to take them next.
i DON'T REALLY USE PROMPTS
This is probably one of those things that makes my approach a little different from other photographers. I don’t really do a lot of traditional “prompts.” I know prompts are really popular in couples photography, but they just aren’t how my brain works.
I’d rather look at an image and think, Okay, I want to create something like this, and then figure out how to get the couple there. From there, I can build a little sequence. Maybe we start with them standing close together. Then I’ll move one person slightly, have them turn toward each other, bring them closer, have them look at each other, and see what happens from there.
I’ll keep moving them through different variations rather than making every pose feel like a completely separate event. That allows me to pay attention to them while we’re actually shooting. If something looks great, I’ll keep going. If something feels stiff, I’ll change it. If I can tell they’re really comfortable with something, I’ll lean into it. If they’re starting to loosen up and become more playful, I’ll give them more room to do that.
The Little Details Matter More Than You Think
One of the biggest things I pay attention to when I’m posing couples is their hands. I really think hands can tell you a lot about how comfortable a couple looks in a photograph. My general rule is that, unless we’re intentionally doing a specific pose, I want there to be some kind of physical connection between the two people.
If one person is hugging the other but the other person’s hands are sitting in their pockets, for example, the image can start to feel disconnected. Even if their hand is technically near their partner but isn’t actually touching them, it can sometimes read as hesitation or discomfort; but when both people are physically connected, the pose tends to feel much more natural.
I think of it as keeping the connection moving between them. They’re not just standing beside each other. They’re interacting with each other. That doesn’t mean they need to be wrapped around each other in every single photograph. It can be something as simple as a hand on a waist, holding hands, an arm around the shoulder, touching a face, or leaning into each other.
Those little points of connection make a huge difference.
Once They’re Comfortable,
Their Chemistry Starts Doing the Work
This is one of my favorite parts of a session. Once a couple gets comfortable in the poses, I don’t have to manufacture their chemistry. It starts showing up on its own. They start laughing. They look at each other differently. They get a little playful. They might make a joke. They might start moving without me telling them exactly what to do. That’s when the photos start feeling less like “We’re taking pictures right now” and more like “We’re just hanging out together.”
The posing gives them a starting point, but once they’re comfortable, I want their actual personalities to take over.
Don’t Take It Too Seriously
This is probably one of the biggest things I tell my couples. Don’t take it too seriously.
This is not America's Next Top Model - and Tyra Banks isn't going to jump out from behind me and scold you with "I have never in my life yelled at a girl like this. When my mother yells like this it's because she loves me. I was rooting for you, we were all rooting for you! How dare you!" (pls tell me you get the reference)
If you feel like laughing, laugh.
If you want to make a joke, make the joke.
If something feels goofy, it’s okay.
If you mess up the pose, that’s okay too.
You don’t need to spend the entire session trying to look like you know exactly what you’re doing. In fact, I’d much rather you forget about the camera for a minute.
A lot of people get in their heads when they’re being photographed. They’re thinking about their hands, their face, their smile, whether they’re standing weird, whether they’re doing the pose correctly.... And the more you think about all of that, the harder it is to actually relax.
So I want you to trust me with that part. You don’t have to worry about whether you’re posing correctly. That’s my job. Your job is to be there with your person. Laugh. Talk. Hold each other. Make a stupid joke. Look at each other. Enjoy the fact that you’re together.
I’ll take care of the rest.
There Is a Method,
It’s Just Not the Same for Everyone
Even though I tailor each session to the couple, I do have a general structure that I follow. I like to start easy, let everyone get comfortable, and gradually build from there. What happens within that structure changes depending on who I’m photographing.
A couple who is naturally playful might need very little direction once they loosen up. A couple who is more reserved might need more intentional posing and a little more guidance at the beginning. A couple who is already extremely comfortable with each other might be ready for more movement or more intimate poses right away. Someone who tells me, “We’re terrible at taking pictures,” might need me to be a little more hands-on with direction until they realize they actually can do this.
That’s why I don’t believe in one perfect posing formula. The goal isn’t to make every couple look the same. The goal is to figure out what makes this particular couple look and feel comfortable.
Natural Doesn’t Mean Completely Unposed
I think this is an important distinction. When people say they want natural photos, sometimes they imagine completely candid photographs where the photographer isn’t directing anything.
That’s not necessarily what I mean when I say I want your photos to feel natural. A photograph can be intentionally posed and still look completely natural. The difference is in how the pose feels. If I’m putting you into a position that feels completely foreign to you, it’s probably going to look like you’re posing. If I can guide you into a position that feels comfortable, keep you connected to each other, and then give you room to interact naturally within that position, the final image can feel much more effortless.
I Want the Photos to Feel Like You
I don’t want you to look at your gallery and think, Wow, we really nailed all those poses. I want you to look at your photos and think, That looks like us.
I want you to recognize the way you look at each other, the way you laugh together, the way you naturally hold each other, and all of those little things that make your relationship yours. That’s why I observe before I pose.
I need to know who I’m photographing before I can figure out how I want to photograph them.
While there are certain things I know I want to look for in every session like connection, comfort, movement, and those little details that make a pose feel natural - the way I get there is different for every couple.
So if you’re someone who is already thinking, We’re going to be so awkward in front of the camera, don’t worry. You don’t have to know how to pose. You don’t have to be naturally photogenic. You don’t have to know what to do with your hands.
And you definitely don’t have to show up knowing how to make your photos look natural. That’s what I’m there for.
Natural-looking couples photography
isn’t really about finding the perfect pose
For me, it starts with paying attention. I want to understand the people in front of my camera - their chemistry, their comfort level, their personalities, and the way they naturally interact. From there, I can make decisions about how I want to guide them.
Sometimes that means giving very specific direction. Sometimes it means letting them laugh and interact without interrupting. Most of the time, it’s somewhere in between. The goal is never to make you look like someone else’s idea of a “perfect couple.” It’s to create photographs that feel like you two.
If you can forget about the camera for a little while, have fun with each other, and trust me to handle the rest, that’s when the really good stuff tends to happen.